Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Putting the mental in Fundamentalist

I took the family camping again last weekend. It worked out quite a bit better than last time, the kids were behaving and I was able to get my drink on. Of course we at least had stuff to do this time. Cambria has a little schindig called Park Days at the end of July. For a tiny village of 600 it's not too bad, Friday night is 'Mexican Night' (for lack of a better word). They serve some authentic tacos and burritos, etc. and those by themselves are awesome. There's also either a live Mexican band or DJ. Why Mexican night? Well, the one main industry in Cambria is vegetable canning, you do the math.

There's also a slow pitch softball tournament that goes from Friday to Monday that's hilarious to watch too. Mostly it's funny just because these guys show up in $60 cleats and toting 3-4 $100 bats and their $50 glove...just to hit lobbed softballs. On top of that most of them are drunk as hell by the end of the day so that's always funny too.

Of course it ended up being a late night so I had to set up the tent by the light of the car headlights while Pam got a fire going (which turned out pretty well). The kids got their s'mores, I got my b'eers and much fun was had.

Saturday, they have a parade which is pretty decent, and then more fun and games down by the park. They usually have some decent juggler performing down there. While waiting for the act to start the kids saw a tent for facepainting and wanted to do that. On the tent there's also a thing for "Wordless storytelling". Yeah, I said "what the fuck?" too. We go in and they won't paint the kids until they hear the story. Warning bells are now going off in my head, but we're sucked in now. I'll look like an asshole if I take the kids out now, so we sit down and listen to the story.

The girl presenting it was maybe all of 13 or 14 but she already had that glazed over zealot look in her eyes. You know the one where they're trying to look excited about what they are saying but they're looking a little too excited. She has a book with several colors, and I shit you not it went a little something like this:

This color's gold, that's what the streets in heaven are made of. That's where god is and god is awesome. She then pulls out the bible and reads off a verse about how awesome heaven is (wordless storytelling my ass).

This color is black. It represents sin. Everyone wants to do sin and sin is bad. If you sin, you get sent to hell forever to suffer.

Red. Jesus is cool, he died for you

White. Ask for forgiveness and always go to a "bible-believing" church

Green. Continue to grow by following the word of God.


They had my kids pray with her....of course saying they don't have to do "anything they don't want to." Of course, I'm not going to be that big of an asshole and start flailing about, but doesn't that seems like she's pressuring a little? Then the story was over and the kids got their painting done.

First of all let me say that I'm a mehtheist. In other words, I really don't give a fuck if there is a god one way or another. I lean toward there not being a god but I just don't care. It doesn't make me a bad person, but I'd rather my morality come from doing what feels right rather than out of fear of some invisible guy in the sky ready to knock me down if I do wrong. Secondly, I am generally respectful of other people's rights to practice whatever religion they choose even if privately I may mock parts of said religion. All that I ask is that you keep your fucking religion to yourself. I do not need to be saved or otherwise converted. My respect for your religious preference ends when you stick it in my face. I am comfortable in my spiritual viewpoints and when my kids grow up they can do whatever they want.

However, in this case, there are several things that just piss me off about the whole thing. First of all they misrepresented who they were and what really is happening inside the tent. Secondly, talking about going to hell and Jesus dying is a bit much for a 3 and 5 year old, even if they were regular Sunday Schoolers it would be too much (although I get the impression that it was directed at my wife and I). Thirdly, targeting kids is just bullshit. If it's bad for the tobacco companies it's bad for religion. Let them grow up and be able to make their own decisions.

The fallout of this is that on the way back to the campsite, Genna (our oldest) was talking about it but got the message a little garbled. She thinks she's supposed to be good or God/Jesus are going to kill her. Good job you fundamentalist whack job. Now I have to fix my kid's perception of your bullshit religion :( Why do the fundies have to believe their ticket to heaven can be bought with converts? Shouldn't they just worry about being good little followers? Why would they want non-believers to convert anyways? If they don't believe already why would you want to share an afterlife with them?

Anyways, rant over. The rest of the weekend was great and much fun was had by all.



cycoivan